Family where mum is daddy, dad is mummy and son, 4, is raised as gender neutral


Britain’s first gender-fluid family is the family of Louise and Nikki Draven, who are raising their four-year-old son Star Cloud to “not get hung up” on being a boy.

Star’s mum is Louise, who has transitioned to a woman. The dad is pansexual Nikki, born a woman but liked to dress some days as male and some as female. Nikki says:

“Neither of us gets hung up on the gender we were born as. We don’t want our child constrained by that either. We’re just an ordinary family being who we want to be. We want to give him the confidence to be who he wants – growing up, we didn’t have that.
We never tell Star he’s a boy, we tell him he can be whatever he wants. We don’t buy gender specific toys or clothes and we let him choose what he wears. Pink is one of his favorite colors. He loves wearing leggings and, because of his name, he loves clothes with star patterns on.
He loves Barbie dolls, dressing up and fairies – but he also likes toys considered as boys’, such as cars. We use the words ‘he’ and ‘him’ but don’t make any kind of big deal out of him being one sex or the other.”



Star’s parents say that he is surrounded by cars, pink teddy bears and dolls. He has long-dark hair and wears a lot of pink, as well as unisex jeans and braces.

Nikki adds:

“When we took Star shopping for his school uniform we knew he’d need male underwear because it’s more appropriate for his shape. But he chose pink socks and vests and we’re more than happy for him to go like that.”


But, it was not always easy for this family, When Star was small and Louise was first transitioning, Nikki said that a lot of people felt uncomfortable around them:

“Sometimes they’d even follow us shouting insults. I’m not easily intimated because I was a bouncer in a gay bar, but Lou found it really upsetting.”


While we applaud being able to let your child be themselves if they say they feel in the wrong body, but there is no need to bring a child up as gender fluid just because of your own gender issues is selfish.



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